Archive for November, 2009

Brain Drain

Monday, November 30th, 2009

There’s pregnancy.  Nearly 36 weeks. Childbirth class, weekly doctor visits. Group B strep test. Fluids. Gotta drink enough fluids. Measure the baby. Is he growing enough? Am I putting on enough weight?  Weight, wait! I lost weight?! Make sure I put on weight (ok, probably shouldn’t complain about that directive). Schedule 38 week sonogram. Hospital tour. Gotta tour the hospital. Hospital bag. Not packed. Waterproof mattress pad…in case water breaks. Not bought. One word: humbling.

There’s homebuying. Closing in two weeks. Need pay stubs, W-2s, 401K statements, bank statements, driver’s licenses, signatures (everywhere!), proof of this, proof of that. Open wide and just expose yourselves! Financially, that is. Is the mortgage application proceeding smoothly? Homeowner’s insurance? Title search, appraiser, check. One word: dizzying.

There’s apartment selling. ROADBLOCK! Buyer not approved. Need new buyer, STAT. Put apartment back on the market. Clean up apartment, store moving boxes in orderly fashion. Get ‘showing’ ready. Light candles, wipe countertops, open windows, fluff pillows. Two weeks until two mortgages weigh heavy above our heads. One word: frightening.

There’s moving. Moving boxes, tape, packing paper. Need more boxes. What’s in this box? What can we put in that box? Does this even fit in a box? Will this break in a box? I can’t lift a single box. Need to pack more boxes. One word: cardboard.

There’s work. Still have a full-time job. Still have deadlines. Shorter deadlines. Company restructures. Third time in one year. Industry is shape-shifting, morphing, evolving. Nobody can predict where it’s all headed. We all hang on for dear life. One word: disorder.

There’s a lot going on right now. A whole clusterfuck of A LOT. Somehow, my head is still attached. My sanity is still intact, hanging on like tightly squeezed fingertips on a nearly flat rock face. But it’s intact. Somehow, inevitably, it’ll all work out. That is the mantra. It will all work out. It will all work out.

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Sleep Training

Monday, November 9th, 2009

Pregnant women spend a lot of time reading books, blogs, Web sites and anything else we can get our anxious little hands on that will help prepare us for the baby that’s about to wreak havoc joy on our lives. I think more than anything, we are particularly interested in learning about sleep. How can we get our baby to sleep, and for long, uninterrupted stretches of time? We’ve all heard the horror stories, and we hope and pray and beg and plead that we’ll be spared. Maybe if we arm ourselves with enough knowledge we will successfully avoid the fates that others– others who we like to presume were less proactive than us–were dealt.

Perhaps the joke’s on us. We think we’re so smart with our knowledge and our seeking of the knowledge. Meanwhile, little bundle o’ joy is busy plotting his or her own sleep training—on us. Over the last couple weeks I’ve noticed a pattern emerge in my third trimester. Not only am I waking up every few hours, it seems I’m waking up at the same few hours every night. You could set an alarm clock to it. In bed between 10:30 and 11, followed by a wake-up trip to the bathroom at 2, followed by a brief fifteen minutes or so of wakefulness at 4, culminating with a final wake-up call at 6:30. Am I subconsciously waking up when the baby’s waking up? Are these the hours he’ll keep when he arrives? If so, I suppose I don’t have much to complain about; I’ve heard of worse.

But I’m amazed. There is so much that your body does to get you ready for this baby. Most you barely notice. You start covering your stomach in crowded spaces – your first taste of parental protectiveness. You find yourself saying ‘baby likes it’ (even though you have absolutely no idea what baby, in fact, likes) – your first dip into the pool of selflessness. It’s less important what you like these days; as long as baby’s happy, you’re happy. And now, your body is adapting to short spans of sleep. You’re learning how to wake up and fall back asleep, over and over again. Eight straight hours of uninterrupted sleep is lost for now. It’s been tabled for another time. Slowly, baby is getting you trained.

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Holiday Wish

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

When I was younger, I remember wondering why older people would wish for things like health around the holidays. Why waste a good Christmas wish on something as boring as ‘health’ when there were so many exciting toys, gadgets and games to be had? I can recall hearing more than one mom confidently saying, “I don’t need anything, I’m just glad that everybody’s healthy.” Yawn.

Fast forward to adulthood and I suddenly understand why health should be at the top of our holiday wish lists. With childhood behind us, health truly does become a gift to be cherished. We can no longer take for granted that we, and those around us, will wake up each day at 100 percent power, ready to take on the world. In the past month alone, three of my closest friends have either ended up in the hospital or dealt with a medical scare. The issues aren’t mundane either, like the sinus infections or sprained wrists we all know how to deal with. There are medical mysteries, invasive procedures, and elaborate tests being undertaken.

I know that the medical issues will only continue to appear over the coming years. My friends and I are only in our late 20’s—the possibilities for health problems are, unfortunately, only just beginning. On top of taking care of our own health, we can look forward to looking after aging parents and obsessing over our children’s every sniffle and sneeze. There will be periods where it seems like everyone around us is ill. And then there will be periods where everyone is bright eyed, rosy cheeked and the picture of wellness. Those times, I will say thanks for having everybody around me be healthy. And I’ll wish only for continued good health.

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