Archive for December, 2009

2009, A Look Back

Thursday, December 31st, 2009

Copied from Sundry

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Got pregnant, bought a house, rode a zipline in Costa Rica, wore a giant adult-sized animal hide diaper (it was mandatory!) while riding down a quarter mile long water slide, took a surfing lesson, biked solo over the Golden Gate Bridge

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t think I made any resolutions; it has always felt like a trite practice to me. But in the spirit of documentation, my resolution for 2010 will be to begin my journey of being a great mom.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, my best friend Kate, one of those people you feel so wonderfully lucky to know and be close to.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Sadly, yes. Kate’s mom Marti. If ever there was a true saint on earth, it was her.

5. What countries did you visit?

Costa Rica (where the ziplining, water sliding and surfing took place)

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you didn’t have in 2009?

A baby boy!  He is due (quite literally) any day now.

7. What dates from 2009 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

April 27, the day I found out I was pregnant, July 14, the day Kate’s son was born, July 28, the day Kate’s mom passed away, and December 15, the day Mike and I closed on our house.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

Getting pregnant. It turns out the clichéd phrase ‘miracle of life’ really is true. There is simply no way to fathom the idea that you can create another life, particularly when you’ve created that life with someone you love more than life itself.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I am by no means faultless, but thankfully I don’t think I suffered any major failures this year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Does morning sickness count?

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Our house! And these boots are a close second.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My husband’s.  Impending fatherhood seems to really suit him. He’s been supportive when needed, calm when I know it killed him to do so, and take charge when I didn’t have the energy.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Thankfully, no one that I can recall.

14. Where did most of your money go?

To the down payment on our house. But I’d say that’s money well spent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Having a baby! And owning a boat. Summer weekends were amazingly peaceful and relaxing thanks to that old salty dog.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Lady Gaga’s entire discography.  Isn’t she just on every radio station’s permanent repeat?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

a) Happier and more hopeful.

b) Much fatter (but I blame the baby)

c) Much, much poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Cooked real dinners and kept up with this blog.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worked late

20. How did you spend Christmas?

With Mike’s family, for the most part. But most of Christmas Day was just the two of us, and that was pretty sweet.

21. Did you fall in love with 2009?

Just more in love.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I developed an unhealthy addiction to House Hunters, Property Virgins, and all other HGTV shows.  But my favorite real show was (and is) Modern Family.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No, and now this feels like a MySpace quiz.

24. What was the best book you read?

This is tough because as much as I love books, as soon as I finish one, even one I really love, I tend to promptly forget it. Right now I’m really enjoying The Piano Teacher.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Along with the rest of the world, I discovered Kings of Leon

26. What did you want and get?

A house (probably the sixth time now I’ve referenced this damn house)

27. What did you want and not get?

A baby…well, at least not yet.  I wanted him to come in 2009, but now it’s looking like it’ll be 2010. And the sale of our apartment. Would have made life a leeeetle less stressful!

28. What was your favorite film of 2009?

I saw all of about four movies this year, so I’m no Roger Ebert, but I truly enjoyed The Hangover. I know, I’m so low culture.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I think I went out to dinner?  I honestly can’t recall much about the day.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A wider selection of maternity clothes. Are you listening, fashion designers??

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2009?

GapMaternity

32. What kept you sane?

Having a baby inside me – instant perspective

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Healthcare, and the sad realization that we’ll never get it right, and should probably stop pretending that there’s an outside chance we will.

34. Who did you miss?

My old athlete self. I hope to see her again in 2010.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

The editors at my workplace. So many brilliant minds!

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

Less a learning, and more a reinforcement, but: you never know how much time you have, and the only things that really matter are the people you surround yourself with.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“I feel it all, I feel it all”  — Feist

Enough Already!

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

My official due date is Friday, and already I’m shaking my fists at the heavens and wondering why God or fate or who/whatever is making me wait so long to meet this boy.  My pregnancy has been ridiculously easy. I had no morning sickness, only slight nausea that lasted for a couple hours in the early days. I threw up just once. I grew in mostly all the right places, and little in the less desirable ones. Strangers couldn’t tell I was pregnant until I was well over six months along. Just last week, I wore a non-maternity sweater to Christmas Eve dinner.  All in all, I’ve had it good. And yet. Now? My brain is acting like a petulant child, silently saying things like, ‘everybody else gets to have their baby a little early, why can’t I?’ Whine, whine whine.

I restlessly search the internet looking for the magic cure that will jump start this labor. Spicy food?  I had sriracha-laden dishes for both lunch and dinner the other day. Sex? Well, since you asked, yes, even checked that now awkward task off the to-do list. A close friend summed it up perfectly: it ain’t pretty!  Walking?  I feel like I’ve done a fair amount, given the 20 degree temps here lately. But baby seems pretty comfy in his little home, even if I am not.

I went to the Mayo Clinic website, hoping those Midwestern experts would have some advice for me.  I found the following:

You may be more likely to have an overdue pregnancy if:

  • This is your first pregnancy
  • Overdue pregnancy runs in your family
  • Your baby is a boy

Three for three….this guy’s never coming out!

What’s In A Number?

Monday, December 14th, 2009

Recently I was chatting with a colleague who is about the same age as me and I mentioned in passing that I was 28 years old. She stopped, allowed her eyes to pop out a bit from her skull and said, ‘Wait, you’re only 28??’

‘Well, yeah’ I replied in confusion. For don’t we all presume that everybody knows exactly how old we are, though most wouldn’t have reason to care enough to ever think about it?  Then, in a tone of growing uncertainty, ‘How old did you think I was?’

‘I dunno,’ she said, ‘Older than 28!’  And isn’t it just a typical female reaction that I didn’t consider the possibility that her confusion might be stemming from a good place. I didn’t consider that she presumed me older because of my professional title, or the way I carry myself. I didn’t chalk it up to a ‘wise beyond my years’ nature or grace under pressure demeanor. No, instead I tentatively touched my face, anxious fingers feeling around my eyes for freshly birthed wrinkles. I wondered if the youthful freckled face I still see in the mirror every morning had become the ghost of faces past.

‘Do I look older than 28?’ I asked hesitantly.

‘No!’ she said. ‘It’s just that you’ve got a husband, and now a house, and a baby on the way.’ Oh, well yes, there’s that. To society, I bear all the trappings of a grown, settled adult. All the boxes that would lead to a 30+ conclusion are checked. But I’m still 28.  Tomorrow I’ll become a homeowner. The owner of a HOUSE. With a yard, and a deck, and a two car garage. In a matter of days (maybe weeks), I’ll become a MOM. I’ll have a SON. I’ll still be 28. And yet, some days I still feel like the 8 year-old girl who only wanted to wear her oversized Batman t-shirt and play roller hockey with the neighborhood boys. Some days, I still feel like the braces-wearing 13 year old who blushed every time a teacher called on her in school. Some days I still feel like the wide-eyed 21 year old who didn’t know where her life was headed after college. I don’t know what 28 is supposed to feel like. But some days it feels downright amazing.

Un-Able Body

Sunday, December 13th, 2009

The medical community sets the duration of pregnancy at 40 weeks. 280 days. As of today, I’m 262 days into this endeavor. 262, 280, either way that’s a hell of a lotta days. I’ve been pregnant for so long I almost feel sick of talking about it. I’m definitely at the stage where I fear you’re probably sick of hearing about it. And yet, really, what else can I talk about?  This pregnancy casts its protruding, orbital shadow over every thing I do. Increasingly more so now that I’m in the home stretch. The phone rings and I utter a silent curse before I heave myself off the couch. The doorbell buzzes and I’m downright APPALLED.  Who in the hey-all would have the NERVE to ring my doorbell?! Do they know what I have to go through to get up and answer the damn thing?  Suddenly I understand why it takes the elderly a full four rings to pick up the telephone, a solid seven minutes to come to the door. Don’t ever bother an elderly person unless you have something worth their while to share.

I guess some people find enjoyment in the final stages of the third trimester. With limited mobility, friends and oved ones start to wait on you, bringing you things and murmuring soothing stay puts, I got its. Unfortunately, I’m not enjoying this so much. I like being independent and able bodied. I like being able to jump up and say, ‘I got it, be right back!’  Now, all it takes is one look at my face and my husband knows that, no, I don’t got it. Everything is a chore. Loading dishes in the dishwasher ends with me heaving a heavy sigh. Pulling out the stepladder to grab a dish from a high cabinet results in family members casting blame on one another. “You’re going to let the pregnant lady reach for that?!”  Even the cleaning lady has got her eye on me. I finally gave up on hefting laundry down to our apartment building’s basement in a basket and gave in to rolling it all to the elevator in one of the laundry room carts.  “Good idea, Sarah” she says with a meaningful nod.

Mobility. It’s a beautiful thing. In a way, I think I’ve got a better understanding of the mindsets of people who suffer a major trauma that leaves them disabled. Morning news and talk shows parade these people out as heroes for tackling everyday tasks while missing limbs. I think it’s wonderful, don’t get me wrong. But I don’t know about heroic. I think it’s human nature, and a matter of keeping one’s sanity. No one wants to be at the mercy of outside help. We all want to feel like whatever it is we want or have to do, we can tackle it on our own. Asking or requiring help is a stumbling block that slows us down. Help should be a gift card we pull out when we feel like saving our cash for another day.  These days, I’m cashing in a lot of gift cards. I miss the greenbacks.