They happen simply, quickly, with no fanfare. They happen at random times, the way the universe intends—when you least expect them. They are small things, really. But they are huge. They are milestones.
For weeks and weeks he stared at you, watched you feed, change and care for him. And then one day he smiles, and that smile changes everything.
His tiny fists were bunched and now slowly, over time, they are not. Now his hands are spread wide, open, accepting of your finger. Where once you couldn’t pry one tiny finger out, now you are holding hands.
His legs were curled up into his abdomen, frog-like. And while you were feeding, changing and caring for him they slowly unfurled. Now they are stretched out, dangling out of your arms while you hold him, kicking the side of the rocking chair, seeking more space to spread out.
His noises were only grunts and slurps, indicators of basic needs. Soon soft coos were added into the mix, vowel sounds, like all the experts said. Now there are consonants sprinkled in, and the sounds are louder, more forceful. He was once quiet (save for the cries), now he’s an endless string of OOOOH, GRRRR, ANNNHHH, RMMMMM, EUUUUUUU.
His head was a floppy appendange, needing to be constantly cradled and nestled close. Now his neck is strong, and his head cranes this way and that. “Focus” you tell him while burping, trying to steer his head back to center.
His back was best, the only way he would lie on the floor. You tried the belly. He struggled, cried. Then, from one day to the next, something changed. On his belly he pushed himself up and looked around, happy, not frustrated. He turned his little swivel head this way and that and took in the new views. He arched his back slightly and leaned, just a little at first, and then more. You watched, pleased with his progress. And then the lean tilted to an even sharper angle and gently the weight of his body shifted. He rolled over. He looked up at the sky, calm. You showered him with praise, tears pricking your eyes. He accepted the praise but his look seemed to say, ‘what’s the big deal?’ It’s as if he’s been doing it forever. Another milestone reached, little, but huge.
Tags: motherhood
