Our next baby is due in just over two months and I don’t think I’ve written a single thing about it. Many parents of more than one child will tell you that that’s just how it goes. The second one gets, not forgotten, but just not put on the same exalted pedestal as the first. This has always been a little hard for me to swallow since I was not the firstborn. But, I see it. When I tell my parents a story about Drew, they often recall a story from their early days of parenting and rarely do those stories involve me. Their most vivid parenting memories, it seems are of my brother. And I get it. The first time around everything is so wildly unbelievable — a kid really does shit THIS much! — that by the second go-round you’ve sort of seen most of it and are rendered either unsurprisable or too tired from chasing your other banshee around the house to notice what the littlest family member is up to.
One day, if our next child deigns to read anything I’ve written, I want him to know he was anticipated with just as much love as his older brother. Oh, did I forget to mention it’s another boy? See? There I go again. I may not have monitored my pregnancy week by week as I did the first time around, but I do still go to bed each night fondly running a hand over my expanding belly and wondering just who this little person will turn out to be.
So, little man, this time around I’m less worried about how to shush and rock and care for a human and for that, be grateful. I won’t make us late for your doctor’s appointment because I can’t figure out how to buckle your car seat. And I won’t leave you crying in another room while I desperately dial the stroller manufacturer’s customer service line, begging for help because how in God’s name do you fold down this awful contraption?! You’ll get my parenting confidence from day one, something I did not possess when your big brother was born.
And, just as with your brother, you’ll get my commitment to handle this job of being your mom with all the awe and determination and ceaseless love it demands. I can’t wait to meet you.
